Today is January 23rd and I have been divorced for a month. We haven't been together in quite some time but every day still seems to hurt just a much as the day before. Randy went back to Singapore a week ago and I don't know if I will ever see him or speak to him again. Christmas Eve may be the last remembrance of his face. I could say its not for lack of me wanting to talk to him though. I reach out. My hope is still there. Today I decided that I am not going to talk to him for the next 30 days so instead I am going to write here. I just need an outlet that is not judgmental and won't try to tell me how I should be feeling or what I should do. Just somewhere to say all of the things that I used to talk to Randy about.
So far today has been different. I had a bad morning and cried a lot so I am glad I asked for a half day. I've been having issues with the backyard flooding and the dogs can't seem to stay out of the mud so I put up the tackiest temporary fence. It probably isn't the best looking thing but until I can get the grade fixed it is what we have to work with. The realtor is supposed to be letting potential home buyers know that it is getting fixed.
I can't believe the house has been on the market since July and I have not gotten one offer. I often wonder if it is a sign and that me staying here is what God wants right now. I am not a fan of the drive but I can't complain about the house.
