I don't mean to still let my feelings get the best of me but they do. I just feel everything. I hate it. I hate that my mind doesn't stop and just wants to play memories that I don't want to have. It is a really sad feeling being told you were easily replaceable. Knowing that all the years, tears, and effort you put into something the other person so easily tossed away as if it never mattered. I can't get those years back and I wish I could. If I knew now I would have changed things that happened and how they happened. I guess that is the shitty thing about time, you can't get it back. I wonder now what would have been if I didn't leave. What if I had stayed and waited and fought? Having a person come in and take my place left no room for a reconciliation. I can't say that there would have been one but I know that if someone else is there to talk to and do all of the things I did then I am not needed. It makes moving on easier when you don't have that gap of being alone. I've been alone and I've dated. I   am not ready for anything serious but I know men are weak and can't be alone. So now I just will always wonder.