I guess it’s not meant to be again

As I sit here once again, hot tears streaming down my checks, I just constantly think “what is wrong with me?” Why can’t I just be with someone that wants to be with me? Why can’t I have that old time love that you hear about? Those people married 80 years, they can’t live another day without the other. There were so many days I wondered how I didn’t just die of a broken heart when Randy left. Some days I still wonder how it didn’t consume me. And yet, I moved on. Or I thought I moved on. I think I am just destined to be alone. I think I am not loveable. There will always be someone out there better than me that is worth it. I’m just not worth it to anyone. I’m nothing.